When you enter into a conflict situation, or a situation in which you and at least one other person appear to be at an impasse or in an incompatible state, you tend to use one or more explicit management styles. Conflict management is the process of managing and limiting the negative effects of conflict while capitalizing on its positive aspects. Managing conflict effectively in personal or professional settings will help you reduce stress, build your connection to others, develop leadership skills, build team spirit, and increase productivity.

For more than 35 years, the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) has been the leading measure of conflict behavior strategies. Drawing from the work of Robert Blake and Jane Mouton, management researchers Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann argued humans use two basic dimensions of behavior to respond to conflict: assertiveness and cooperativeness. Depending on where your conflict behavior falls between high or low aggressiveness on one axis and high or low cooperativeness on the other, there are five management styles or strategies.¹⁰ The figure below will help you understand how the five conflict management styles relate to the intersection of assertiveness and cooperativeness.

The following video offers additional perspectives on the conflict styles.

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You may tend to rely on styles that have worked for you in the past or ones you feel more comfortable using. The next sections will help you learn the pros and cons of each and when they would be the most effective responses.